Bet he's never been asked that before - Orthodontist

McKinley has been so excited about getting braces. She has talked about it for a couple of years. And the time finally came. She was sitting in the orthodontist chair for quite awhile getting all the right spacers put on, the brackets glued, wires ran. I had been taking pictures every step of the way so she would have all the memories. She had already told the doctor that this was a big event in her life. She even made a couple of funnies with him. She asked him if he would take her fresh chicken eggs as a form of payment. And after he thought about it a few seconds he reluctantly declined but said that he would take them as a tip. The assistant finally finished the nearly 2 hour procedure and the doctor came back to inspect every tooth and wire. After close inspection he said that she was good to go. He went over all the things to do to keep the teeth clean and healthy. Then he went over all the things that she could not do. He had a whole page of things that would be off her menu for the next 2 years which included gum, candy, popcorn, apples, taffy, corn on the cob - basically anything sticky, chewy, hard, or that had to be bitten into. After the long list her face was a little saddened. She had not thought about all the things she would have to give up for 2 years. Gosh, this was a lot. The orthodontist finally asked her if she had any questions, to which she asked..."can I get them wet?" There was a silence. I leaned down and whispered into her ear, "Sweetie, they are in your MOUTH, of course you can get them wet". And then the laughter erupted. "OH YEAH, never mind", she said. I'm sure she has some blonde in there somewhere.

The boy loves Slim Jim

My oldest son loves Slim Jims. LOVES them. He can be talked into doing just about anything with the Slim Jim as his reward. He expects one for any special occasion or even if your just making a quick trip to the local Dollar General down the street. I've tried my best to explain the lack of health benefits offered from the Slim Jim. I've showed him the contents of the Slim Jim. I've showed him the serving size of the Slim Jim. Doesn't matter. He still loves them. If you aren't mesmerized by all the gossip on the cover of the latest trash magazines, you have noticed at the checkout line, Slim Jims come in all shapes and sizes now. They have little 4 inch ones, 12 inch ones and if that wasn't already enough artery clogging goop, they have the mega stick. It's huge. Parents could use it to spank their children with this thing. But I am proud to say that I have only bought the mega stick once. And it was my husband's fault. He thought we were getting such a great deal, but somehow it doesn't sound like such a great deal when you see the calorie/fat/sodium content. Today I found myself getting the kids favorite candies for their Easter baskets. And I remembered the love Miles has for Slim Jims. So I decided I would get on his good side and stuff a 12 inch heart attack in his basket. And of course, it was his favorite thing in the whole basket. Later I was outside enjoying the warm sunshine when he came out and sat beside me with his Slim Jim and a Dr. Pepper (his two favorites). He was happy. So happy. After a minute or two of talking, I inserted into our conversation the fact that the 12 inch Slim Jim was not a one sitting snack but in fact it was more like a two sitting snack. I went on to ask him to please not eat the whole thing in this one sitting, it was the only thing that would remotely make me feel better about getting such a crappy snack. And without missing a beat he replied, "Don't worry, this is my second sitting, I was just sitting on the porch before coming out here with you". Shaking my head, and I can't help but smile. And then chuckle. At least I didn't buy the mega.