Mission Accomplished

Around the holidays I like to take the kids out window shopping so I can get some ideas of what to tell the grandparents that the kids are interested in. So Friday I decided after school we would go to the one store that the kids have been bugging us about for months, Academy Sports. We hadn't taken them to the new store since it opened and they have reminded us of it several times.
Only one small problem, I needed to stop by Hobby Lobby real quick.
I was immediately drilled with questions.
"Do we all HAVE to go in?"
"How LONG is this going to take?"
"Can I just stay in the car?"
My reply was that we were going to spend some good quality time together and have fun doing it, we wouldn't be long at all.
We paraded into the Hobby Lobby like a mother duck leading her ducklings to water. All five of us filed in. And we began our journey through the maze of standing displays to get to the back of the store. Then something went wrong, terribly wrong.
The ducklings went crazy.
As two were passing a display, something fell from the top shelf, and if you know anything about the display shelves at Hobby Lobby you know they are a booby trap waiting to happen. It was like a domino effect. One thing hit another and then two things hit three and on and on it went. It was so incredibly loud and embarrassing and did I mention loud?
Immediately the last two ducklings divert the course and act as if they have NO idea who the first two were. They were moving so fast away from the crash bang scene that they actually could be recruited as grenade throwing spies.
As I return to the scene I was happy to see my kids helping to pick up the home fashion decor while they simultaneously are declaring their innocence of not touching a thing.
Ok fine. Whatever. Let's just get our stickers and get out!
Sounds easy. Right?
Wrong.
We finally make it back to the sticker section and I begin my quick scanning looking for just the right ones. Then it's like the 3 children and 1 husband have descended upon me and multiplied. Out of nowhere they now are actually acting like they are trying to help me.
"Oh Mom look at this", "Mom look at that", "Mom do you like this?", "Mom I love these", "Mom I like this one", "Mom where is the bathroom", "Mom you won't leave me, right?" (really? did that even need to be asked? I haven't done that like, in a really long time) "Mom what time is", "Mom when are we going", "Mom....", "Mom....", "Mom....", aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
I give very stern instructions, "Leave me alone for one minute and let me find what I'm looking for".
Yeah, that doesn't work.
So I send them off on a project idea. "Go find your favorite scrapbook paper".
Yeah, that doesn't work either.
All the while, they are up and down the aisles laughing hilariously loud and it never fails they start with some made up game that always includes grabbing, punching, tackling, tickling, or some other type of physical rough housing that I usually end up threatening them through my gritted teeth and glaring eyes. This goes on the ENTIRE time I'm trying to delicately decide on my stickers that I plan to use to make a nice, family, Christ like quote for the CHRISTmas season.
I should have just left them in the car.
I finally decide and make my way to the check out. As soon as I pay, I bolt for the door like I have no idea who these people are or why they are following me.

The short ride to Academy is full of laughter. They are having THE best time in the back seat laughing and joking- oblivious to the fact that I may not ever go back into my favorite home decor store for fear that I will be asked, "Please tell us are you alone?".

When we pull into the parking lot, I immediately get this grand idea. I look over at my husband and suggest to him that we should turn the tables. He looks puzzled. I whisper my plan. "We should go in this store that they have been wanting to go in for months and do to THEM what they do to US!". He still doesn't get it. "Embarrass them for a change".

And then it happened.
My husband's phone rings and he starts talking as he is getting out of the car.
It all happened so fast.
The kids are all piling out and quickly making their way to the store.
It all happened really fast.
I found myself leaving him behind, my partner, and committed to carrying on with our one mission. One mission.
And without really giving it much thought, I was already sold out on the idea that my behavior in this store would teach my children a lesson, a lesson it turns out they will never forget.

I started by running up to the front of the store and stopping short of the automatic doors, standing with my arms wide open, stretched as far as I could reach, with my head tilted to the bright blue sky, proclaiming with all the air in my lungs, "WOW!!!! Would you look at that!!!!"
They stopped. They looked at me funny. They looked very quizzical. They wondered.
And then the doors opened and I shouted, "OH MY LOOK!!! WOULD YOU LOOK?? WOW!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!!"

The greeter man was already laughing.

And I began. "Miles, look at this". "Miles look". "Miles did you see this". "Miles where are you going?". And it was loud. And he knew exactly what I was now up to now. And before I knew it I was sold on the idea that everybody in that store would know that I was with them, all of them.
He began walking fast. Then he began the power walk. And I began to chase him as I continued to call out every single end of the aisle sale item we passed. Until I noticed. All my other family members were nowhere in sight.

I turned and made my way into the clothing section where I found my daughter hiding, looking increasingly scared and amused at the same time, until I shouted, "McKinley there you are!!!! Did you see this? Did you see these shirts? Did you see these pants? Look at this!!". And then she began to walk fast. Very fast, away from me. I of course followed and loudly was calling to her all the awesome deals on clothing that we were passing.
We crossed the isle and ran into Miles and I began to exclaim "We found you!!!" and then went on to tell him that his sister was looking at the bras. He ran. He ran away. Far far away.

All the while my husband, who was supposed to be my partner in crime, and other son had gone to the completely opposite side of the store.

I found myself alone. All alone in the toy section. No one to window shop with. No one to pick out potential CHRISTmas presents with. And honestly, for a moment I thought my joke was complete. It was funny, it made the point, it was embarrassing. Mission accomplished...for a moment.
Then I started to see all the cool things I could continue my mission with. I grabbed the biggest hula hoop, a huge rubber sword, and I tried to make the discovery kid vest fit me, I tried. The bright green kid sized binoculars were still attached to the cardboard which made it almost impossible to use, almost. And I set out on my quest, to find those ducklings.

I made my way to the front of the store, looking right, looking left. I was on a bonafied mission. I entered the large area behind the registers that stretches all the way across the store and I saw him. He made the turn from the last aisle into the clearing. He was like a doe being hunted by a ravaging hunter. I began running toward him with my large hula hoop wrapped around me and my sword flying high in the air like Braveheart would have wanted, and began exclaiming, "GRAHAM!!!! GRAHAM!!! THERE YOU ARE!!!!!THERE YOU ARE!!WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?".
He turned. He turned so fast and began his acceleration.
I too took a turn through the clothes to continue my descent upon him, quickly mazing myself through racks, and customers, charging through to find him.
My tracking skills proved right when I met him in the camping section and began to pound him with my sword skills.
He laughed at first, and then took off running when he realized that I was not going to quit.
I began chasing him, then I found Miles again. Poor Miles.

He hasn't seen my latest costume change. He begins a hearty laugh at the site of me, but then quickly realizes that I'm still up to my same tricks as I proclaim, "MIIIIIYAAAAALES!!! I got something for YOOOOU!!!!". He starts zig zagging through the shoes, then the socks, back to the clothes, and at the same time I'm beating him with my rubber sword. He makes his way back to shoes, escaping my sword, in and out of every isle, until something happens. Something I hadn't thought about.
I find him and begin chasing him up the aisle and we run into a man and his son. I immediately recognized them from school. Miles bumps into them and assumes that I will stop when I see people we know. He assumes wrong.
I am gone, long gone. I began displaying my sword slicing skills on Miles while trying bravely to hold onto my massive hula hoop and his teacher exclaims, "Get him, get Miles!" and the chase begins, again. They watch us for a few isles laughing.

I decide finally that the lesson has been taught and I'm ready to return to my family and act normal.(smiley face)
I'm ready to look at all the cool and interesting things that Academy has to offer us this holiday season.

I found them. They were huddled around their father, acting as if he was their only protector. Terrified at the sight of me. When I didn't begin shouting and instead was laughing uncontrollably they knew the joke was over.
But they now have had a change of heart.
They no longer want to look up and down every isle of their favorite store that we have been reminded over and over and over again that we haven't brought them to since it's opening.
They don't want to CHRISTmas shop.
They don't want to do anything but go to the car.
And go home.

I tried to explain to them what I was doing and why, but they didn't want to have any part of it. They even tried to say that I went overboard and had taken it too far. That the hula hoop, sword fighting, was too much. Me??
After finally convincing them to at least go check out the guns, knives and hatchets, they all eventually found their way to me and gave me a big hug and sheepishly apologized for every time they had walked into a store and embarrassed me with their behavior.

Mission accomplished.

The Best of Me

We live in the times now of social media. Facebook, twitter, instagram, texting, & YouTube. There's talk of the vine, the cloud, and neither of which involve going outside at all. I felt like to stay up to date and be a relevant leader, I needed to know what was going on in the lives of the people around me. I thought I needed to check in and see how everyone's life was going, who needed me, or how could I encourage someone today. You want to feel like you are up to speed on the happenings of those you love. You want to see just how much the kids have grown. You want to share in the great moments of people's lives. You want to console in the darkest moments of people's lives. You want to read encouraging, thought provoking words of wisdom. But then it all ends up being... You see their favorite lyrics. You see people tear others down. You see the pictures of places you'll never afford to visit. You see the things your friends are doing that you'll never be able to do. You see all the gossip. You see what your friend ate for lunch. And then you have a defining moment. One where you realize that your day does not have to include unlimited access to social media. Why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you spend time on things that you won't even remember a day from now. What was gained in your life today by time spent on social media? What if you decided to spend more time in prayer or devotion than on social media? What if you were challenged to not spend time on the computer or your phone when your children were home or awake? What if you put boundaries on your time? What if you actually spent more time working on your dream than you did talking about your dream? What if... It will always be 'what if's' until you have a defining moment. One that changes you. One that rocks you. One that makes you never want to be the same again. My children will not ever say to me, "My mom always knew everything going on in other people's lives, but never knew what was going on in my life". My husband will not ever say to me, "You always spent so much time on your phone, but not with me". My God will not ever say to me, "You talked about me on facebook, but I never knew you". Life will fight for your time. You only have so much time...who deserves the most of it? Who deserves the best of you?

Seasons

Seasons or as some would refer to them as either being in the valley or on the mountain top. No matter what your age, race, or gender, we all go through seasons. Things are either really good, or really bad, or going in either direction quickly. We have seasons in our career, in marriage, raising children, or health. But I have found that it’s what I learn in a season that is important. I believe that God allows us to go through seasons in our life to grow. I believe that in every season there is something that we can learn, and then take that nugget of wisdom and use it for His kingdom to help someone else. How long you stay in a season depends on how long you take to listen and learn. Sometimes we have to learn from our mistakes. Sometimes we need to learn to forgive. Sometimes we need to learn how to suffer, and suffer well. I remember having little babies that completely relied on me. I remember sleepless nights, crying and whining, potty training, temper tantrums, food battles. But I also remember the sweetness of when a child wakes in the morning and the first thing they want is a long tight hug from mom. I remember making a decision to not focus on what needed to be done in the house or the laundry that needed to be washed and only focus on my baby. My baby who would only be little once. I thought everything always needed to be cleaned and organized, that things needed to be done before I could enjoy my time with my child. I was wrong. Instead God showed me how to be selfless. How to put others before me. How to love without expecting anything in return. How to stay the course and be strong & courageous even in the ‘terrible twos’. Growing children is about putting someone else’s needs before yours. It’s a season in life that reaps immeasurable benefits. My kids are older now and just spent a week with family out of town. I received a phone call one day from my sister in law. The kids had spent the night with her and she called first thing the next morning and her question was, “how did you do it?”. She went on to say that she had the best time having the kids over and she wanted to know what we did to raise such great kids. In that moment, I didn’t think about all the battles we had over trying new food. I didn’t think about the gazillion nights we had trying to keep my oldest in his bed. I didn’t think about the falling out, screaming over not getting a toy in the store. Instead my heart was full of joy that maybe we did something right along the way. We stayed consistent. It was a season, and we made it through. Marriage seasons have been written about before being compared to the seasons of weather. Spring, Summer, Winter, Fall. Everyone is in one season or transitioning into another. I remember early in our marriage feeling like we were in the Fall. We didn’t know how to communicate with each other. We both wanted the other to make the move and that meant that neither of us were moving. We slowly crept into Winter. I remember thinking that this was not the marriage I had dreamed about having. I wanted more. He wanted more. We began to talk about our differences. We worked on our marriage. There were hard times. Times of listening, not speaking. Times of dealing with past hurts. Times of letting go of unrealistic expectations. Learning how to speak each other’s love language. Seasons. Each season now meant growing together and learning more and more about the man I loved. We celebrate 21 years of marriage this week and it has completely, honestly, wholeheartedly been the best years of my life. But if we had never learned how to recognize and grow in our seasons, I would not have the best friend in my life that I get to enjoy waking up to everyday. Learn to embrace your season. I see it like riding a roller coaster. I’m sitting in the front seat, buckled up with my hair blowing and my hands straight in the air. I’m climbing high. The view is beautiful. I can see the greatness of life with God. I reach the top and immediately see how everything has been worth it. Then BAM!!! My smile is gone, my hair is a mess and I’m holding on for dear life as I begin the downward spiral that seems will never end. It’s bumpy and uncomfortable, dark and lonely. I can’t control it. But then I quickly am reminded that it’s just a ride. It is what you make of it. God is with me and He will never leave me. In every dark place, may you find God’s strength. In every mountaintop, may you be thankful and joyous and help someone in need. In every season may you find God’s will.

"Wait a minute...You mean???!!!!"

The time has finally come.

Last week on the way home we were having a discussion about what Miles wanted for CHRISTmas. McKinley was in the back seat listening quietly. I knew in my gut what she was about to ask...

"Mom, is Santa real?"

I knew this day would come. I actually looked forward to it in a sense. Most occasions I don't look forward to ANY part of the kids getting older, but this one, I did.

You all know how hard it is to try and make a list, check it twice and then act like a crazy, mad man trying to find it, keep it hidden, put it together, wrap it, write the note, make the cookies, eat the cookies...you get the picture.

So when my youngest munchkin popped the question, I was quite quick to answer, "No sweetie". That simple.

"WHAT!!!???"

Ok, maybe I should have eased into that discussion a little softer and with the help of her father.

Mac has always had a very tender heart and a sweet little nook in the center of her big 'ol heart for the special things in life. Santa was a special thing. Every year she went through great lengths to write him a note, even when she was too little to write, she had me write her letter for her "exactly as I say". She baked cookies for Santa and always left a big glass of milk. Sometimes when we traveled for the Holidays she would leave a note saying where we were going to be on CHRSITmas Eve. We followed Santa on the Doppler Radar, made sure we put the fire out before bed so he wouldn't burn his booty coming down the chimney. We did it all, and then some.

There was the year that all she wanted for CHRISTmas was a picture of Santa Clause and Mrs. Clause and he delivered. Even autographed the pictures that he took just for her!! Then there was the year that the movie Polar Express came out. All she wanted that year was a bell from Santa's sleigh. (Have you tried to find a really BIG, nice, gold bell lately??!) But once again, Santa came through. She still has that bell...and the pictures....and all the notes Santa left for her every CHRISTmas morning.

So yes, maybe I should have taken a little more care to gently spill the beans.

"So, what are you saying Mom??!"

"Well sweetheart, you asked. I thought you would want to know the truth."

"Ok, so, what are you saying...wait a minute, are you saying, do you mean that YOU AND DAD ARE SANTA???!!!!!!!"

"Yes baby girl, we are."

"But what about all those letters? Did you write those?"

"Yes, every one."

"What about the cookies? Did you guys eat those?"

"Yep. Those were my teeth marks in the ones left on the plate for you to see."

"And the pictures?? Where did they come from? and WHO signed them?"

"Ms. Renee helped me on those."

"Ok. But what about the bell? That was special. It was from Santa's sleigh."

"I bought that too."

"You mean, YOU bought my DSI???!!!!"

"Yes. Your dad and I got that for you"

"And the WII???!!!"

"Yep. We had to stand in line for hours to get that game system that year."

Then there was a long pause.

"Am I going to have to pay you guys back for all that stuff???"

These are all great memories that we have made over the last 10 years. Memories and traditions that we will likely talk about for years to come and many of them that we will in fact still do. We will always make cookies CHRISTmas Eve, but maybe now we can keep the fire burning all night.

Keeping it real,

~A

3 Words

Every once in a while my sweet husband takes me on a date. I enjoy this. We don't do this as often as we would like.
The kids are old enough now that we don't have to pay a babysitter, just got to feed the little munchkins. Which can cost as much as the date itself. But you can't put a price on a little peace and quiet. RIGHT?
So when you see how needed the night is, how much planning goes into the event, you expect all your planning to lead to much needed adult conversation, calmness, quietness, and overall just a pleasant experience.
UNTILL...
A set of grandparents with an alien grandchild are seated less than 3 feet away. I immediately started looking for the hostess. Did I mention we were on a date? Did I mention we left 3 kids at home? Did I mention it has been waaaay too long for this night?
The night was filled with alien child crawling under multiple booths at one time. Making a mad dash to the kitchen, several trips to the bathroom, running and hiding from grandparents, throwing his food, crying, yelling, and finally Grandmother giving up and Grandfather threatening to take off his belt. (here, you can use mine)
Apparently these fine folks were babysitting so the parents could go out on a date too. Bless their hearts.
My husband made a great observation: Next time you want to do the parents a favor and babysit your alien grandchild, I have 3 words for you....CHUCK E CHEESE.

A Child's Perspective On Kindness

Before school every morning we have a "hands in" prayer time. It's a tradition.
A couple weeks ago my sister was staying with the kids for us while we attended a conference. She decided that the 'hands in' prayer time could benefit even greater with a more applicable teaching time. So every day they had a different challenge to complete. Things like: find someone today that you can help, give someone a compliment today, do a good deed...etc.
My daughter is in the drama filled world of third grade. She often comes home telling us stories of how mean this one little girl can be. Or that this little girl has informed her that she is not her friend. Or even, "you can't be in our club". There is generally a story every afternoon, to the point that the boys now get in the car after school and ask, "what did (insert name) do to you today?".
As a mom it's hard to see your child upset. I have refrained from giving too much advice because I wanted to see her put into action the things that we have talked about and how to handle certain situations. We have prayed for (insert name). We have talked about what her home life could be like and that could be a reason why she acts the way she does sometimes.
Now it was my sister who was having to hear the stories of this girl's meanness. So she decides to teach my daughter about kindness. "Be nice to her", "say something kind to her", "You have to kill her with kindness" she would instruct her every day.

A few days ago after picking up the kids I could tell my daughter obviously had something on her mind. You could sense the heaviness she was feeling. She seemed at the end of her rope. She finally says to me, "Mom, Sherry says that I should kill (insert name) with kindness", and there was a long silence..."Yes, that would be nice", I replied. And with much seriousness & thought she replies back, "I'm gonna get a baseball bat and write KINDNESS on it, and hit (insert name) with it".
I found that it was best to just pull over since I couldn't see past the tears of laughter how to drive.
Where on earth do they get this stuff? I have no idea...

The one thing I NEVER wanted to happen...

Yeah, I'm a pastor's wife, church planter, mom, blah, blah, blah...BUT I can also fight. And boy did I want to knock somebodies lights out!
You gotta understand that some mom's pray very specific prayers over their babies while they are in the womb. Like for health & proper development, which I did. For this baby to grow up and be a world changer, which I did. For them to always have a close relationship with their siblings, which I did. And who could forget to pray for good teeth? Not me! I prayed for that, seriously. Stop laughing, I did.
I was the only one in my family to not have braces. Had good teeth till I had children. But I also knew all about having to get teeth FIXED. And I didn't want that for my kids. I also knew how much dental procedures cost and insurance was never even close to covering it so I thought, "why not just pray for perfect teeth now?".
So, now you know a little bit about why I obsess over teeth, (it's the first thing I notice about people)...
It's my birthday & I'm headed to watch the boys play baseball with my mom & sister. They have to be there a hour early & since my mom & sister didn't know where to go, I sent Stacy & the boys on & told him we would be following shortly.
We are about 4 minutes away and my phone rings. It was Stacy, but all I could hear was crying and him saying something like "hold this on there". He finally says those dreaded words that I never ever ever wanted to hear..."Honey, Graham just got his front 2 teeth knocked out!".
My stomach has just sunk into my feet, I have a huge knot in my throat immediately and all I can say is, "are you serious?". Of course my mom & sister are now asking, "what, what???".
I can hear Graham crying over the phone. My heart just breaks. He's worried about how he looks. He's bleeding from his mouth being busted up. His lip and gum's are bleeding and Stacy is loading him up to take him to the emergency room. He instructs me to hurry and find Miles when I get there to calm him down.
I met Stacy & Graham in the parking lot and gave Graham a big hug and tried to comfort him the best I could and offer my words to him that,"it's not really that bad son", all the while the last mile I have beaten my steering wheel till I bruised my hand.
I park and find Miles who immediately breaks down when I get to him. Brothers can beat EACH other up, but when somebody ELSE does something to one of them...you are in trouble. He was ready to fight. He is just like me. When he gets really mad & upset he cries. Once I got him calmed down, all he wanted to do was "be with Graham". It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
So what happened?
Graham & another boy was warming up before the game. The coach had announced for them to gather their things because they were moving to a different field. Graham reached down to get his stuff and when he raised back up, the kid had thrown the ball and it hit him square in the mouth.
Stacy said he came running to him crying, blood gushing out of his mouth, holding his 2 front teeth in his hand.
I have emotions. I'm pretty ticked off. I'm trying to think in my mind, "ok Amy, you gotta hold it together for the sake of the children" and then I'm asking Miles, "which kid hit him?", "where's his parents?", "what happened?". I think I probably would have been better if somebody in the guilty party would have offered their apologies or asked how Graham was, but no, they were too busy eating their big fat hot dog. All I can see is this processed mystery meat being shoved up their nose till parts of it are oozing out of their eyeballs. Then I'm brought back to reality by thinking as bad as this seems...I guess it could have been worse. 'sigh'
Thankfully, God placed the nicest family in our church, who the man happens to be in the dental profession. When Stacy was on the way to the hospital he called him and told him what had happened. He met Graham & Stacy at the ER and said that he thought that he could fix G's lip & gum's and he would go ahead and seal the pulp that was exposed on the teeth. He also worked on him Saturday morning to glue his old teeth back on to get him through Easter weekend & protect the pulp.
Now we are waiting to see if the roots are going to make it from the trauma, so far so good.
I guess Graham & I will have more things in common now. We'll get our teeth bonded together.
As the days have passed it has gotten easier, but I still think about what is to come with a young boy & 2 front teeth that are bonded. How many times will we end up having to fix them? Will he ever be able to bite into an apple or eat corn on the cob? Things that most people take for granted that I can't do.
I just keep telling myself, "their just TEETH".
I'm learning that I don't understand & can't control everything that happens...and when it does I have to say - Tis gar plen - "so what".
Miles says the kid owes us 2 teeth.

Success... or not

The pageant was a success. Mom made it through without any mind altering medication. :) McKinley had a great time. She looked beautiful. Surprisingly she was as cool as a cucumber all day. She never got nervous or anything. I thought maybe she might since it was her first one. We arrived early so we could get pictures and not be rushed. When it finally started she was ready.
The funniest thing about the whole day was at the end they brought all 65 contestants on the stage to announce the winners. We could not find Mac because she was several rows back. Then all of a sudden this little tiny hand pops up above everyone's head and begins the "princess wave" better known as the "screwing in a light bulb wave"...YES, it was my child. We all just died laughing. Then they began announcing the class beauties. They called her name out as the First Grade Class Beauty, so she's standing up front along w/ the other beauties and then she begins the "light bulb wave" again. TOO CUTE!!
So the day was a success. She had a great time, but then my friend Lisa asked her is she wanted to do it again, to which Mac replied, "YES!!!"... poor me:(

Add 1 more thing to the plate

So my daughter decided she wanted to be in the school pageant... ON SATURDAY!! :)
I was going to try and discourage her from being in it just because I believe in inner beauty. Then yesterday someone at lunch talked to me about letting her do this for her. SO, I've been running myself the last two days trying to get everything she needs.
She is super excited... we'll see what happens.

Another night

Mac + bedtime = emotional

Tonight it was once again... Flossie. I finally just told her, "honey, what if she died, or something got her..." (I know not the softest marshmallow in the bag, but I was just trying to be realistic) And she replied, "But Mom, there's still a chance".
So, once again I lay in bed with her till her eyes were dry and she was fast asleep, thinking who needs a season finale.
I can't wait to give her the pony for CHRISTmas...

My daughter makes me nervous

So, I've decided to blog...why people want to read about other peoples lives?? But why not read about mine :)..
Today was my daughter's Thanksgiving lunch held inside her classroom. All the parents were invited to attend and bring food. After getting their food & sitting at their tables to eat it got rather quite in the classroom.
Anyone who knows Mac understands that she has this "gift". A gift to speak whatever is on her mind. A gift that I often worried about when she was small.
There was the time that she was being held by a sweet, sweet lady at Christmas dinner. The lady was talking to her and inquiring about what she liked to do, etc. and then it came. Mac announced to everyone that,"...your breath is stank". I could have crawled under a rock. I'm certain that my face turned 47 shades of red and well, I was speechless. On the way home, I was trying to explain to Mac that you don't always say everything that you think, EVEN if it's true. But, then I was interrupted by my "freedom finding" husband who replied, "I think it's a good thing that she speaks her mind, blah, blah, blah. "
Then there was the time she announced to everyone at my birthday party that, "we ain't got no toilet paper at my house!".
And let's not forget about the time that she told the story to a table full of guests that included the punchline, "I have an affliction in my loins"...
So, I've found myself trying to steer a very vocal female in the ways of, "just whisper in my ear before you say it", kinda way.
Then today, she leans over and whispers in my ear, "Mom, my butt is growling", and while I'm laughing and trying to tell my husband what she has said, I hear her yelling out across the room, "Taylor, where is yo' daddy at today? and Amanda you said YOUR mother was a...."
I left her there with her freedom finding Daddy!!!

And then tonight while having our creative team meeting, I go to the kitchen to get me a drink & she stands on her chair and announces that, "my momma gots the toots!".