No Tears in Eight Years

It happens EVERY year. The week before school starts I have the same questions every year. I cry about the same thing. I call my sister in law EVERY YEAR and get the same pep talk! We talk on the phone everyday but this conversation is always her little 'pep talk' to me about letting go, AGAIN.

I HATE when school starts back. HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT! I'm not one of those parents who shops early. I refuse to shop on 'tax free weekend'. I don't have the kids backpacks ready. I don't do anything except try to cram in as much time together as possible.
I fight it till the bitter end.

As I lay in my big 'ol tub of water one night trying to relax after a long day, I kept sorting through all the mixed emotions I was having of school starting back once again. I felt the need for my yearly pep talk. Trying to use good judgment, I decided to wait till AFTER my bath to use my cellular device that could so easily be dropped in my vast of bubbles.
Beginning to reach the point of turning to a prune, I couldn't stop with the tears. What a relaxing bath this was turning out to be...
Then I came up with this novice idea: Why not pray now about all that I'm feeling (no fear of electrocution there huh?)...AND then I'll call my sister in law and she can pick up where God left off.
I had a plan.
But as I began to tell the Lord how I was feeling and my all worries about public school something happened.
My load started to become lighter. I was feeling a little fresh air and no, no one had barged in the door asking if I knew where all the black socks were, although that happens quite often. I swear the dryer is eating them.
I simply talked and then I made the statement: "I'm not going to call anyone. I'm not going to ask anyone. I'm not going to say a word to anyone. I'm going to wait for you to send me an answer and give me a peace about what to do."

What to do? That was the question every year. Home School vs. Public School.
I knew my kids would be dumber than dirt, but we would have fun.
I knew it would work SO much better with our schedules. No early mornings. Sleeping late. Shorter work days. We could still travel when we needed too. We could save some money not having to buy clothes, shoes, lunches, and we could have ALOT of fun. But the kids would still be dumb.
I admire home school moms. I do. And am a bit envious too. They seem to have so much energy and organization. Have all these creative juices that flow. And they get to see their kids ALL day and ALL night. Who wouldn't want that, Right??

As I leaned forward to pull the drain, thinking in my mind, "I wonder how long He's gonna make we wait for an answer", he immediately spoke to my heart.
And this is how He explained it to me...
Everyone can't have the same calling. If everyone that was salt on the earth were to home school, who then would reach the lost in our schools today? Children need to see other children make right choices. They need to see how to live out a Christian life. Teachers, coaches, other parents need to see the light on the earth. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. You are called to raise disciples that lead others. You will be rewarded with the family time that you seek. I would not forget you. And besides, you went to public school and you didn't turn out SO bad.

By this time I'm laying in an empty tub of washed out worries amazingly in shock. Then I ask myself why I'm shocked. I know the God I serve, so why was I so in awe of His kind and gentle thoughts towards me? Plus...I think some people would disagree with Him about me 'not turning out SO bad after all" :)

But that's how He rolls. In my time of questioning and searching for the same answers over and over, He spoke in 10 seconds what my sister in law has tried to accomplished in the last 7 years every August!! (Sorry Kim, I love you but you got trumped)

I got out of that bath a new person. (and quite shriveled up too)
I had a peace like never before. I was so excited. I felt like I didn't have to keep cramming to get time in with my family. I felt confident and assured that I was doing exactly what God called me to do.

I began to think about how everyone's calling was different. Even if you struggle with where you are in life, or you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to other people, we are all chosen. Chosen to fulfill our individual calling on earth. If everyone acted the same, talked the same, worked, studied, lived life the same, how could we ever reach all the different types of people in the world today?

For the previous 8 years of 'first days', I cried. I felt guilty. I took days and sometimes weeks to get over going back to school.
But this time was completely different.

We went on to have the BEST first day EVER in the Turney5 history. No tears. No guilt. Just family, fun, and freedom.

It's that time of year again...

Take me out to the ball game...
The boys started their season today with a double header. What a gorgeous day to play. This is one of those years that the boys get to play together (which I LOVE) and it's now "kid pitch". So things are very interesting. Bases get stolen, kids get hit (which is not a good thing when your son is pitching). But for a mom, it's a perfect Saturday.
I love to watch them. There are good days and bad days, but we always try and find the key to build character in whatever the turn out is. I believe in team sports. I believe it builds qualities & provides times for us to reinforce character building foundations for later in life. They meet nice kids, hard to deal with kids, learn to listen, follow directions, etc. All kinds of things that can be applied to life.
I remember Dr. Rutland always said, "keep them busy & they'll stay out of trouble". If that's true then ours should be saints. :)
So when you call our house and don't get an answer chances are we are hanging out together at the ballfield... enjoying the best years of our lives! Turney5

on the 7th day even GOD rested

I know today's not the 7th day, but it was my 7th day. And it may not be considered a day of rest when you factor in a field trip, horsey time, a movie and the bookstore but it was my much needed day away from the house and away from the phone & the emails.
The field trip was a success despite the cold. Mac and I dressed in layers & did great until asked to sit "Indian style", we had so many layers our legs wouldn't go together. :) She & I had a great time together.
After school we went straight over to see Twister. We took him to the big pasture to run, which is always so fun. There is a field of rye planted behind the house of a friend where we take him to sometimes get fresh green grass. When he sees that big field of fresh green blades, there is no stopping him. Mac calls it "horse heaven". She stuffs her pockets full to take back to his pasture. Even the boys got involved today. Well, at least Miles did. He took the lead rope and ran with him. G is still a little "shy" around him. We stayed till dark just playing and visiting.
Today was report card day and all 3 made "A Honor Roll" so we celebrated by going to the movies. They chose "Tales of Despereaux" which was a great story of forgiveness, but I think I'm just so sleep deprived that I have to admit to dosing off a few times. :0
And what better way to finish the night...BooksAMillion. Everyone got to pick out a book, and I got to look at house plan books. Don't get any ideas, I have looked at them for 6 years, it's just a hobby. I think that ONE day I'll open one and see my dream house, yeah right. It was relaxing, I just couldn't get my legs to cross.
So, mentally it was a rest day for me.
p.s. I'm so proud of my honor roll students! It's been a big year for them & they've done so well.

Gettin' YOUR puppy!!

I hate when bad things happen. I have always been a "what if, or if only" kinda person. And I hate that about myself. Just let it go, easier said than done. But I am learning and I hope that I will always be open to learning and have a teachable heart.
As a parent you strive to make things better for your children. You love them and want them to be happy. But what happens when things go all wrong? How do you handle the disappointment?
Mine started about 4 months ago. We had moved to a new city to start a brand new chapter in our lives. Things were going great until...The dog came up missing. It was a freak accident that she was left outside, only for seconds, but she was gone. We don't know if someone picked her up or if something picked her up. :( But nonetheless, was a devastating blow to the family. One that Mac would not soon recover from. We did the usual reward posters all over town, vets offices, pet stores, etc. Ran ads in the paper for weeks. Nothing.
Animal lovers will know what I'm talking about when I say you feel like you have lost a member of your family. This was a dog that we had since birth. It was Tess' puppy that we had kept. The boys recovered much better than Mac & I. But over time the wound started to heal. We would talk about Flossie & remember things about her and I would always try to end on an upbeat note & tell something funny about her or just reassure the kids that she was probably "living the life" now.
But I've learned that this experience has been like a snowball effect on Mac. She can't get over it. She lays in bed and cries at night praying for God to bring her back home. She started sleeping with her stuffed yorkie dog. But not just sleeping with, she holds her in a death grip in her arms while falling asleep. Tuesday night after already tucking everyone into bed and doing a couple of chores, I went back into her room to give her one last kiss. She did not know that I would be coming back to check on her, but what I found broke my heart. She was laying their crying her little self to sleep. When I asked what was wrong, her response was, "I pray for Flossie to come home everynight, can you pray with me?" Talk about pulling at your heart strings! Then it happened again last night. So last night I added a bed buddy with me. Scooped her up and took her to bed with me. I just wanted her to be close to me and to let me hold her & know that everything was going to be alright.
Then hubby comes into the bedroom with that look of "we have GOT to get a bigger bed if you keep doing this". :) So, he kneels down beside my side of the bed and asks what was wrong. I then began sharing with him what I had been thinking for several weeks. (Yes, I'm a thinker.)
In her little mind she is associating everything here with something bad or negative. It started with the dog. Then the school. Then her stomach problems. And not having any girlfriends. (all the families in the church so far have only boys, so she's the only girl at home, at church, etc.) That's why she lives for the next visit back home. She thinks about the good things there. The horses, Olivia, grandparents, etc.
So after explaing all this to him, he says, "Your right...what do we do?"
Well for starters, she's getting a PUPPY for Christmas!! Haha, he laughs. "No seriously", he says.
Then this morning the Lord reminded me of how much he loves me and wants me to be happy. As much as I want for Mac to be happy and I will do everything in my power to see to it that she is... I will NEVER understand His love for me, His child. It's just that big. Bad things happen sometimes, but the Lord is always in control. He knows what we need before we do. He sees our hurts, and he wants to get us a "puppy" too. But is that really what we need? I look back at every hard time in my life & see now that all of them, every single one was a growing time. What if I had just got my "puppy" and then went on my merry way? Would I be the person that I am today? I have to realize that He knows me better than me & will do whats best for me. I am not in control.
Seasons, we all go through them. It hurts the Father to see you struggle, but there is a reason. We just have to keep pressing on and not give up and believe that no matter what, I'm gonna come out of this a better person... WITH A PUPPY!!!