Gettin' YOUR puppy!!

I hate when bad things happen. I have always been a "what if, or if only" kinda person. And I hate that about myself. Just let it go, easier said than done. But I am learning and I hope that I will always be open to learning and have a teachable heart.
As a parent you strive to make things better for your children. You love them and want them to be happy. But what happens when things go all wrong? How do you handle the disappointment?
Mine started about 4 months ago. We had moved to a new city to start a brand new chapter in our lives. Things were going great until...The dog came up missing. It was a freak accident that she was left outside, only for seconds, but she was gone. We don't know if someone picked her up or if something picked her up. :( But nonetheless, was a devastating blow to the family. One that Mac would not soon recover from. We did the usual reward posters all over town, vets offices, pet stores, etc. Ran ads in the paper for weeks. Nothing.
Animal lovers will know what I'm talking about when I say you feel like you have lost a member of your family. This was a dog that we had since birth. It was Tess' puppy that we had kept. The boys recovered much better than Mac & I. But over time the wound started to heal. We would talk about Flossie & remember things about her and I would always try to end on an upbeat note & tell something funny about her or just reassure the kids that she was probably "living the life" now.
But I've learned that this experience has been like a snowball effect on Mac. She can't get over it. She lays in bed and cries at night praying for God to bring her back home. She started sleeping with her stuffed yorkie dog. But not just sleeping with, she holds her in a death grip in her arms while falling asleep. Tuesday night after already tucking everyone into bed and doing a couple of chores, I went back into her room to give her one last kiss. She did not know that I would be coming back to check on her, but what I found broke my heart. She was laying their crying her little self to sleep. When I asked what was wrong, her response was, "I pray for Flossie to come home everynight, can you pray with me?" Talk about pulling at your heart strings! Then it happened again last night. So last night I added a bed buddy with me. Scooped her up and took her to bed with me. I just wanted her to be close to me and to let me hold her & know that everything was going to be alright.
Then hubby comes into the bedroom with that look of "we have GOT to get a bigger bed if you keep doing this". :) So, he kneels down beside my side of the bed and asks what was wrong. I then began sharing with him what I had been thinking for several weeks. (Yes, I'm a thinker.)
In her little mind she is associating everything here with something bad or negative. It started with the dog. Then the school. Then her stomach problems. And not having any girlfriends. (all the families in the church so far have only boys, so she's the only girl at home, at church, etc.) That's why she lives for the next visit back home. She thinks about the good things there. The horses, Olivia, grandparents, etc.
So after explaing all this to him, he says, "Your right...what do we do?"
Well for starters, she's getting a PUPPY for Christmas!! Haha, he laughs. "No seriously", he says.
Then this morning the Lord reminded me of how much he loves me and wants me to be happy. As much as I want for Mac to be happy and I will do everything in my power to see to it that she is... I will NEVER understand His love for me, His child. It's just that big. Bad things happen sometimes, but the Lord is always in control. He knows what we need before we do. He sees our hurts, and he wants to get us a "puppy" too. But is that really what we need? I look back at every hard time in my life & see now that all of them, every single one was a growing time. What if I had just got my "puppy" and then went on my merry way? Would I be the person that I am today? I have to realize that He knows me better than me & will do whats best for me. I am not in control.
Seasons, we all go through them. It hurts the Father to see you struggle, but there is a reason. We just have to keep pressing on and not give up and believe that no matter what, I'm gonna come out of this a better person... WITH A PUPPY!!!

My daughter makes me nervous

So, I've decided to blog...why people want to read about other peoples lives?? But why not read about mine :)..
Today was my daughter's Thanksgiving lunch held inside her classroom. All the parents were invited to attend and bring food. After getting their food & sitting at their tables to eat it got rather quite in the classroom.
Anyone who knows Mac understands that she has this "gift". A gift to speak whatever is on her mind. A gift that I often worried about when she was small.
There was the time that she was being held by a sweet, sweet lady at Christmas dinner. The lady was talking to her and inquiring about what she liked to do, etc. and then it came. Mac announced to everyone that,"...your breath is stank". I could have crawled under a rock. I'm certain that my face turned 47 shades of red and well, I was speechless. On the way home, I was trying to explain to Mac that you don't always say everything that you think, EVEN if it's true. But, then I was interrupted by my "freedom finding" husband who replied, "I think it's a good thing that she speaks her mind, blah, blah, blah. "
Then there was the time she announced to everyone at my birthday party that, "we ain't got no toilet paper at my house!".
And let's not forget about the time that she told the story to a table full of guests that included the punchline, "I have an affliction in my loins"...
So, I've found myself trying to steer a very vocal female in the ways of, "just whisper in my ear before you say it", kinda way.
Then today, she leans over and whispers in my ear, "Mom, my butt is growling", and while I'm laughing and trying to tell my husband what she has said, I hear her yelling out across the room, "Taylor, where is yo' daddy at today? and Amanda you said YOUR mother was a...."
I left her there with her freedom finding Daddy!!!

And then tonight while having our creative team meeting, I go to the kitchen to get me a drink & she stands on her chair and announces that, "my momma gots the toots!".