It happens EVERY year. The week before school starts I have the same questions every year. I cry about the same thing. I call my sister in law EVERY YEAR and get the same pep talk! We talk on the phone everyday but this conversation is always her little 'pep talk' to me about letting go, AGAIN.
I HATE when school starts back. HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT! I'm not one of those parents who shops early. I refuse to shop on 'tax free weekend'. I don't have the kids backpacks ready. I don't do anything except try to cram in as much time together as possible.
I fight it till the bitter end.
As I lay in my big 'ol tub of water one night trying to relax after a long day, I kept sorting through all the mixed emotions I was having of school starting back once again. I felt the need for my yearly pep talk. Trying to use good judgment, I decided to wait till AFTER my bath to use my cellular device that could so easily be dropped in my vast of bubbles.
Beginning to reach the point of turning to a prune, I couldn't stop with the tears. What a relaxing bath this was turning out to be...
Then I came up with this novice idea: Why not pray now about all that I'm feeling (no fear of electrocution there huh?)...AND then I'll call my sister in law and she can pick up where God left off.
I had a plan.
But as I began to tell the Lord how I was feeling and my all worries about public school something happened.
My load started to become lighter. I was feeling a little fresh air and no, no one had barged in the door asking if I knew where all the black socks were, although that happens quite often. I swear the dryer is eating them.
I simply talked and then I made the statement: "I'm not going to call anyone. I'm not going to ask anyone. I'm not going to say a word to anyone. I'm going to wait for you to send me an answer and give me a peace about what to do."
What to do? That was the question every year. Home School vs. Public School.
I knew my kids would be dumber than dirt, but we would have fun.
I knew it would work SO much better with our schedules. No early mornings. Sleeping late. Shorter work days. We could still travel when we needed too. We could save some money not having to buy clothes, shoes, lunches, and we could have ALOT of fun. But the kids would still be dumb.
I admire home school moms. I do. And am a bit envious too. They seem to have so much energy and organization. Have all these creative juices that flow. And they get to see their kids ALL day and ALL night. Who wouldn't want that, Right??
As I leaned forward to pull the drain, thinking in my mind, "I wonder how long He's gonna make we wait for an answer", he immediately spoke to my heart.
And this is how He explained it to me...
Everyone can't have the same calling. If everyone that was salt on the earth were to home school, who then would reach the lost in our schools today? Children need to see other children make right choices. They need to see how to live out a Christian life. Teachers, coaches, other parents need to see the light on the earth. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. You are called to raise disciples that lead others. You will be rewarded with the family time that you seek. I would not forget you. And besides, you went to public school and you didn't turn out SO bad.
By this time I'm laying in an empty tub of washed out worries amazingly in shock. Then I ask myself why I'm shocked. I know the God I serve, so why was I so in awe of His kind and gentle thoughts towards me? Plus...I think some people would disagree with Him about me 'not turning out SO bad after all" :)
But that's how He rolls. In my time of questioning and searching for the same answers over and over, He spoke in 10 seconds what my sister in law has tried to accomplished in the last 7 years every August!! (Sorry Kim, I love you but you got trumped)
I got out of that bath a new person. (and quite shriveled up too)
I had a peace like never before. I was so excited. I felt like I didn't have to keep cramming to get time in with my family. I felt confident and assured that I was doing exactly what God called me to do.
I began to think about how everyone's calling was different. Even if you struggle with where you are in life, or you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to other people, we are all chosen. Chosen to fulfill our individual calling on earth. If everyone acted the same, talked the same, worked, studied, lived life the same, how could we ever reach all the different types of people in the world today?
For the previous 8 years of 'first days', I cried. I felt guilty. I took days and sometimes weeks to get over going back to school.
But this time was completely different.
We went on to have the BEST first day EVER in the Turney5 history. No tears. No guilt. Just family, fun, and freedom.